Cancer, On My Mind, Running

NATE IS CANCER FREE!!! & perspective.

First & foremost…

The scans are back and CLEAN! I was surprisingly calm about this scan/appointment but if I ever thought about it too much I got a little antsy.

He got his scans done at the U of U hospital and then about an hour later we had his appointment with Dr. Hunt at Huntsman. It’s always a mix of emotions going to Huntsman. There were some really low times there (i.e. sobbing in the little family laundry room) but also some great times (i.e. this past Tuesday). However, the overwhelming feeling I always have is gratitude. Gratitude for the amazing facility. Gratitude for the amazing donors. Gratitude for the amazing staff. And so much Gratitude for Dr. Hunt, his nurse Ann, and all of his team. They really are some of the very best and deserve every penny. I love taking our kids there too. Especially Corra. The nurses just ooooh and aaah at her, rub her fuzzy hair & pinch her chubby cheeks. And really, they have every right to. They played a huge part in bringing her to this earth; if it wasn’t for them, Nate wouldn’t be with us & Corra wouldn’t have the chance to be born. I can just see it in their eyes that they are so proud & happy to see Nate doing so well & see a glimpse of his life past cancer – a life that they gave him. Not all their patients are so lucky.

Anyway, the appointment was short and sweet but, as you can imagine, very happy. When Dr. Hunt told us the good news I felt like I needed to just hug all of them! But instead I just sat there a little awkwardly smiling at all of them with a few tears in my eyes. With being clean for 2 years it means so much less stress & worry! If the cancer was going to come back (and it had 50% chance of coming back) 85% of the time it happens in the first 2 years. So now that we have hit the 2 year mark the possibility of his cancer coming back goes WAY down. We now only have appointments every 6 months and no scans unless Nate feels like he needs one. Such a relief!

After the appointment we drove an extra hour south to Nate’s parents and ‘celebrated’ (ate dinner ha) with them and Nate’s sister, Heidi, & her family. Nate had to be back to work the next day so we headed out at 10pm and made the 3 hr trek home.

It was a great day 🙂

cousin time is the best time for Ames.

It’s crazy how I can start the week feeling so grateful for everything, and in just a few short days, lose sight of that perspective.

This week was a crazy one and I had so many things I wanted to get done. One of which was finish our little half bath/laundry room remodel that we started WEEKS ago. This remodel was being done on a budget of basically $0. All I wanted was to get rid of the brown/yellowish colors going on. So we bought a new ($50) vanity, new vinyl flooring ($48), and a new toilet paper holder. That was it. Nate finally had a little time today to work on it. We moved everything out & started going on what should have been like a 2 hr project (I had already painted). But right away we ran into a problem. Our sink’s water valves were so corroded that we couldn’t shut of the water. So we just thought we would turn off the water main line which we thought was just down in the utility closet. About an hour later, we still couldn’t find the water main shut off valve! We searched high and low. We STILL have no idea where it is, if there even is one. So not only did we not even start laying down flooring or put in a new vanity, we now have an issue that if something ever goes wrong with our plumbing, we won’t know how to turn off the water! I was already feeling super overwhelmed with everything, and this was just the cherry on top. All I wanted to do was get rid of ugly colors and we couldn’t even make that happen. I felt cheated. With looking on social media it makes me feel like we are the only ones not building a brand new designer houses, buying brand new minivans (guys, I just want a nice USED one of these & it’s been hard to come by), buying all the lipsense-rodan&fields-younique makeup-lululemon-usborn books-fawn design bags, making what seems like 6 figures, etc etc. I’m over here like I JUST WANT A FEW EXTRA DOLLARS TO GET RID OF MY BROWN PAINT, YELLOWISH FLOORS, & PINK COUNTER TOPS AND I DON’T EVEN HAVE THAT WITHOUT TONS OF WORK, STRESS, & PROBLEMS! I felt jealous. Not that I don’t want all y’all with nice things to not have them, I just want one, maybe 2 nice things too. I feel like I have to hustle & save to get anything remotely nice & sometimes I just get fed up with it. I just want to hire someone to come do my floors. I just want to go to a car dealer & pick a van without spending every second on ksl/ waiting for the perfect deal to come up. I just want to go to RC Willey and pick out a couch. I was just overwhelmed.

Until I remembered what happened on Tuesday.

Things snapped right back into perspective.

Sure, having all those things would be SUPER nice. BUT, my life is amazing without ANY of it. Nate is ALIVE & CANCER FREE. I have AMES. I have CORRA. I have a cute (albeit a lot of work) HOUSE. I have FOOD. I have (decently cute 😉 ) CLOTHES. We have TWO CARS. My husband LOVES HIS JOB. I could go on & on & on. I remember when Nate was in the thick of cancer – I couldn’t even get on any form of social media because everything people posted about seemed so insignificant. I was there watching my husband fight for his life & people were posting about the new shoes they got. I kinda just wanted to yell at everyone that it just doesn’t matter! Of course, I’m right back with everyone now posting about nonsense. But I think that’s why we have this cancer trial. It ALWAYS brings me back and puts things into perspective.

These 2 are becoming the best of buds and it’s my favorite thing.

So even though I still dream of building a designer house, picking whatever minivan or couch I dang well please, I know that those things are nice, but really just don’t matter. I have everything I need & so much more that I don’t. I am tremendously blessed.

If you are anything like me and feel that overwhelmed, jealous monster from time to time, take a moment to stop & put things into perspective. I bet you’ll find that you too have everything you need + so much more.

It’s all about perspective.

-till next time-

PS: I am getting closer & closer to finishing everything with this site! Take a look around and let me know what you think/questions/what you want more of! Feedback is awesome!!

2 thoughts on “NATE IS CANCER FREE!!! & perspective.

    1. Thanks so much Nicole! I think you are pretty wonderful as well. I ALWAYS enjoy your posts. And your girls are THE CUTEST!

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