On My Mind

I could tell you.

I could tell you how I’ve been meaning to update this blog for like 2 months.

I could tell you how my beautiful sister Jasmyn Kapree is the one who has bugged me about it and brought me to actually write.

I could tell you that Jasmyn is a total BABE & that I love & miss her (and all my family…but special shout out to J.Fresh cause, you know, this blog post is because of her).

I could tell you how I’m half way done with the semester and how it’s kinda crazy being back in school.

I could tell you that I feel awkward being the “pregnant” girl in a lab full of freshmen

I could tell you that they make me feel good though cause they don’t let me use the ‘harsh’ chemicals or clean up cause I need to “rest up!”

I could tell you that I went back to school because it was always my intent to do something in the medical field.

I could tell you that I went back to school because I’ve now seen how much of an impact good nurses make.

I could tell you how I also went back to become a nurse so I can have a reliable job that I enjoy, and can do anywhere just in case something does happen to Nate (not that we are planning on it! the risk is just a little higher and I want something to fall back on)

I could tell you how we got a piano and I’m finding out quickly I’m “out of shape” but it feels so good to play again.

I could tell you that physically I am getting out of shape but I’m still “running” (more like ‘plopping’ with walking breaks) 3-5 miles a day.

I could tell you that I’m 18 lbs heavier, have dark spots on my face, waddle instead of walk, and a total of 32 weeks pregnant with a healthy very active baby girl 🙂

I could tell you that I fell down on a rocky trail and my knee took the full blow (like ripped jeans, deep cut, swollen knee, etc) so now I waddle AND limp…I’m quite the scene.

I could tell you how Ames ran full speed into the corner of a wall & had a huge bump for weeks on his forehead.

I could tell you how we have been travelling almost every weekend since the beginning of January to see Nate be an amazing coach and visit some friends & family.

I could tell you that Ames is pretty much potty trained and it makes my mommy heart so happy to see his little “lighting mcqueen underwears!” bum running around 🙂

I could tell you that Nate is currently in the operating room getting surgery on his eye (one of those fix up surgeries form his big cancer surgery.  Hopefully now he won’t have an eye that is constantly watering and full of goop!)

I could tell you all these things.

But that’s not what I want to tell you.

What I want to tell you is how I cried.

I cried because when I did fall (as mentioned above) my little Ames came running to me saying, “Momma fell?! I kiss it better for ya Momma!” and proceeded to kiss my knee and help me wipe it clean and put on a bandaid (and okay, a couple of those tears might have been cause it hurt real bad).

I cried because I have been looking for a (used) rocker/recliner for baby girl’s room for months.  And when I went to look at a nice one that finally popped up, they refused to let me pay for it because they just wanted to see it go to a good home.

I cried a month ago when we were at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital and on top of his CT scan coming back clear, I cried because a couple nurses popped their heads in his door just to “say hi!” and “see how he is doing!”(I really love Hunstman….top notch!).

I cried because the surgeon, who saved Nate’s life, is the one in the chair asking what more he can do for us.

I cried because it was a perfect example how our Savior is.  He atoned for every pain, sin, woe, and hard thing we have to go through just to save our lives and yet he is still there, giving us his full attention, just waiting for us to ask him for more help. Waiting for us to tell us what more he can do for us.

I cried about a lot of other things (duh, I’m pregnant).

And

I could tell you about a lot of other things.

But mostly,

I just wanted to tell you how I cried.