On My Mind

a-mes

Ames a-mes as a boys’ name is pronounced aymz. It is of French origin, and the meaning of Ames is “friend”. The name may be related to the Latin word for love, “amor”, or may have referred to those who lived near elm trees, or may be a variant of Amos (Hebrew) “borne by God”. Rare.

When I was pregnant with Ames we spent a lot of time thinking of names for him.  We had a ‘baby names’ app that we would often pull out while we were driving around and go through names.  The day we found out we were having a boy we pulled out our app the second we got back to the car and starting looking at boy names. I’ve always liked looking at what names mean too.  I think there is a little bit of a connection between what your name means and who you are.  There are definitely people I know who have a name that just seems to ‘fit’ them so well.  That’s what I wanted for our babe.  I wanted a name that was him.  That’s why we waited till he was born to name him.  I felt like I needed to see him and really get a better feel of who he was before we selected a name  (don’t worry though, he was only nameless for just under 24 hours).

So every time we looked up names I had to look at their meanings and origins.  Ever since I saw the movie “Inception” I’ve liked the name Eames.  As we were looking at names after we found out it was a boy I looked up Eames to find its meaning.  As I was reading through, they listed similar names of “Eames” one of which was “Ames”.  I liked Ames even more so I clicked on it to read more about the name.

Ames means friend. Ames is related to love.  Ames was “borne of God”.  I was sold.  The name stuck with me hard.  I definitely still wanted to wait till he was borne to actually decide, but it became my favorite by far.  Nate had a couple name choices that were all held in equal regard to him.  But once we official met our little baby boy, we both agreed that his name should be Ames Anthony Houle.

I loved the meaning of Ames from the get go.  But as time goes on, I love it even more.  It truly fits him perfectly.

Moving to Pocatello has been both way great and way hard.  Great because we are finally progressing in life which means that Nate is healthy!  Great because we finally get a place to call home for probably at least 5 years.  Great because it’s a new place and new adventure.  But…hard.  Hard because it’s a big change – the past year our only goal was to get Nate healthy.  We really didn’t have many commitments or responsibilities – just lots of nap taking and family time.  So this move has been a reality call.  Hard because Cedar Hills is my little sanctuary.  It’s where I grew up.  It will forever be ‘home’ to me. Hard because we were surrounded by family down there and always had someone to hang out with.

The first few weeks after we moved here Ames would come up to me and ask to go home even when we were in our new home.  And more than that, he would ask for his cousins ALL DAY LONG.  He still asks for them whenever we get in the car.  He wants to go to “BooBoo Race”‘s(he has a cousin named Brooks who he calls Boo Boo & a cousin named Race) house.  I can tell he misses all his cousins and Aunt and Uncles so much and it’s so hard for me to see.  He was used to playing with them at least 3 times a week.  And on top of that, Nate isn’t here with us 24/7 either.  We explain to him that Daddy works now.  On top of asking for his cousins and ‘home’ he also asks to go to Daddy’s work.  It really has made it harder on me to see him sad.  It’s especially hard because he still is too young to really reason with.  So he has little idea of why everything in his little life just changed.  Luckily, he is adapting quickly and is helping me do the same.

My whole life and especially while I was pregnant I would think of all the things I wanted to teach my children.  I thought a lot about how I would parent in order to mold my baby into an outstanding human being.  I thought that it was mostly a one-way street – my babe was going to need me.  Little did I know how VERY much I was going to need him…

Ames lives up to his name so incredibly well – he is truly my best friend.  He is my friend, he loves me, and he is proof that God is real.  I know without a doubt that he was sent down to us in a very timely manner.  He has been at the perfect age/stage through all of our hard times – he was a newly turned 1 year old during Nate’s surgery.  He was so sweet, cute, & happy – yet independent enough that I could let him run around while I tended to Nate.  He seriously boosted both Nate & me all the time during the whole cancer ordeal.  I really don’t think we would have made it through without him.  And now with this move, he is just what I need.  He’s now 3 months way from the big 2 (!!!!) and keeps me smiling even when stressed.  This past week the big change of life, sadness of Nate being gone a lot more, stress of selling our townhouse, stress of buying a new house, stress of living off of bare minimums because he don’t want to unpack until we get into our new house, and stress of just figuring out a new place hit me hard.  I’ve been a little ‘down in the dumps’ about it all.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m still super pumped to be here, but change, whether good or bad, is always hard.  Adventures always have times that are scary.  I think it’s very good to go through changes and scary times – it pushes you to learn and grow.  But they still are hard.  Fortunately for me, God sent our little strawberry blonde, squeaky laugh, big blue eyed baby boy.

If I didn’t have Ames, I would probably just sit in this little apartment and be blue.  But I have a little side kick that pushes me to have fun.  We literally do everything together.  Like, he hauls all his trucks and naked bum into the shower with me and is banging on the door every time I have to use the bathroom (that is IF I’m lucky enough to actually get the door closed, ha).  He is the one that brings me is “fu-fuit” (swim suit) and asks to go to the “wa wa” (water).  He is the one that I see is missing his cousins so I try to push myself to get out of the house and find fun things to do.  He is the one who brings me my “hat” (bike helmet) and makes me take him on bike rides (which anytime we go down a hill I can look back to find him with his arms up yelling “aaahooo!” haha).  He is the one that asks me to sing “wheels” (wheels on the bus) & “beam” (Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam) all day long. He is the one that comes at me with puckered lips & “hucks” (hugs) every time I’m feeling lonely.  I swear he can read my mind or something because he always seems to know exactly what I need.  Sometimes I stare into his big blue eyes and can almost see his little soul.  Most loving, rambunctious, and friendly soul I have ever seen.

I don’t think it was just by chance that we named him, Ames.

Ames means friend…

And our Ames is the truest friend I have ever met.

Love you, sweet cheeks.