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Circling hawks…and stuff.

This post is going to be all over the place.  I already know it.  I’ve just had lots on my mind lately and feel like rambling, capiche?

*ahem*…

Have you ever watched those big hawks circle around in the air?  I have.  I do all the time.  Most often as I am running.  I watch those hawks and think of how cool it would be to see one swoop down and catch its prey.  Well guess what?  I TOTALLY saw it!  I had just finished running my easy run at practice.  We had run at a little river/woodsy place and as we were about to go stretch I saw a big ol’ bronze hawk swoop right on down and grab what I thought was a mouse!!  I was freaking out!  Of course I was like, “DID YOU SEE THAT?!?! ….Poor mouse!” as I was running over to get a better look at everything.  I have always wanted to see a bird catch its prey… but I instantly felt bad for the little mouse.  I sneaked up on the hawk, and let me tell you what, that thing was HUGE!  It was like a dinosaur or something!  Come to find out it didn’t catch a mouse… it had a freakin’ fat squirrel in its talons!  I got way close to the bird and as it flew off, it dropped the squirrel.  The poor little squirrel was all torn up and was just lying there, slowly dying.  I felt reeeeal bad.  But, at the same time, it was seriously so cool!  My team was all laughing at me cause I was freaking out about it.. .but come on!  It’s not everyday you see something like that!  I’ve wanted to brag about my awesome experience… oh the things that excite me, haha 🙂

This is the beaut that I saw.  Huge, Right?!

Another thing: feelings.  Relationships.  I’m talking love here. I feel like there is no such thing as good ol’ fashion, knee-wobbling, heart-jerking, l-o-v-e.  I feel like love is almost scoffed at and is thought to be only acceptable when you are in your 30s.  It makes me sad to see people not allowing themselves to try and love and feel strongly for someone in order to preserve their career, their schooling, their “freedom.”  So instead of loving and caring relationships, “dating” turns into one night stands, insignificant, or even worse, into a relationship where one lies, cheats, and only thinks about selfish wants and pleasures.  Then, those that do allow themselves to love always have to put it on hold.  They have to wait until they are done with school.  Wait until they get a job.  Wait until they have enough money. Wait, wait, wait.  My question is, why wait?  Why resist the beautiful feelings that come with truly loving someone and acting upon those feelings?  I try to figure out.  The main thing that I’ve come up with is that when a couple does get into a serious relationship, they pretend like they are married.  They move in together, have sex, even go as far as have children.  They feel as if they need to “test the water” before they fully commit to one another.  Not only have I learned in my psychology classes (they are coming in handy after all 🙂 ) that couples who don’t fully commit to each other make their chance of divorce sky-rocket, it plain and simple hurts my heart.  I know that getting married at 20 years old seems silly to most, but I can honestly say that committing to Nate and getting married has enriched and blessed my life in ways I didn’t think possible.  It really is very simple too.  We met, dated, and fell in love.  When I married Nate I wasn’t 100 % sure that he was perfect for me or that we would have a perfect life together.  I wasn’t done with school.  I didn’t have a job or money.  I wasn’t flourishing in my career.  But, I did know that I love him.  I love him so much. I did know that he makes me SO happy.  I did know that I need him in my life.  I know that the love you feel for others and the happiness that comes from relationships is what really matters in life.  School, work, money, sex, etc, are things that change and die with you.  But relationships, friendships, love, experiences, knowledge, and happiness are things that last forever.  I focused on all the things that I did know and committed myself to Nate, and we were married.  And you know what?  Life went on!  I was still able to finish school (okay, well I am almost done… senior year this year!). I am still progressing on the right path for my career. I even have more money than I did when I was single.  I am still able to be successful.  Now, don’t get me wrong, marriage isn’t lollipops and blossoms.  It is hard sometimes.  It makes you grow-up and take responsibility for your actions.  When I get frustrated with Nate I can’t just leave or move-in with a different roommate.  I have to work things out.  I have to learn to let the little things go.  I have to work on thinking of Nate before myself.  Marriage has made me more successful in every area of my life.  I have done better in school and running, been happier, more selfless, more responsible, more confident, more stable.  And I get to share all these experiences with the one that I love.  I get to have my husband and best friend by my side at all times.  What’s there to scoff about that?!  I also know that because Nate and I didn’t wait, our marriage and love for each other is so strong.  I never have to question his loyalty to me.  The bond we share is indescribable.  I really wish that our society would be  more trusting and truly committed to their loved ones.  No more “testing the waters.”  The water is great!  I’ve tried it out!  Love and marriage is a great thing, guys.  It really is 🙂

** Disclaimer:  This is a touchy subject and this is very much just my personal opinion on the matter.  If you don’t agree, that’s a-o-kay.  It definitely doesn’t mean I dislike those that go against my opinion.  As always, to each his/her own.  Just some food for thought 🙂

Another thing on my mind: Running.  Sheesh, when has running not been on my mind since I was a punk little sophomore in high school?  Well get this, it won’t be on my mind as much after this year!  I’m a big bad collegiate senior this year.  Weird? Yes.  Exciting? Yes.  Fun? Yes!  The panthers are on the prowl!  We just had our first meet today.  Without even being in full strength, we gave some ‘big dogs’ a run for their money.  I am SO pumped for us.  A little cocky? Yes.  It’s okay though, we deserve it 🙂  I have a theme song for this last year of school/running.  Queen says it perfectly when they say, “I want it all”….

I want it all, and I want it now!  Is it okay to be greedy your senior year?  I hope so, cause I’m green with greed already…wait…green is the color of envy…eh, whatever.  You get what I mean.  Hopefully I can put in the work to get it 🙂

Speaking of songs, I’ve noticed that lots of songs these days are all about nights.  Lots and lots.  Turn it to a pop station and check it out.  They all sing about “tonight, tonight, I’m gonna get drunk, get some, and party, tonight!”  Lame.  Real lame.

Last, but certainty not least…

Football is dumb.

Until next time,

Kacee Renee Houle 


🙂

2 thoughts on “Circling hawks…and stuff.

  1. great post kace. love you. i'm glad you got married to nate. you guys are so great for each other…but I really miss ya so I'm mad at him for taking you all the way to Georgia. Good luck this season! BE greedy! go get it!

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